Archive for May, 2010

no question.

Sometimes in the quiet of my room at night, questions begin to creep into my mind. It’s only in these silent moments after my roommates have gone to bed and I’m looking out my bedroom window watching the twinkling lights of South Lexington that I doubt my calling. It’s amazing how these tiny instants can rule in our lives.

They aren’t that often, truthfully. And they aren’t that significant. But it’s in these little whiles that my focus slips. It’s not that easy, you know, tuning this unredeemed brain of mine to a channel that is set on heavenly things. How can I concede these grains of doubt infiltrate the abundance of confirmation I have received?

It says, ask and you shall receive. And even though I never received that colored Game Boy with Tetris, or that drum set, I have received confirmation of my call. I asked for validation, for affirmation. And it came in many forms: a conversation with my pastor, Unearthed Pictures coming to 608 & me being able to start a conversation with them, even the words of the songs I’ve been writing.

The opulence and complacency I am experiencing in this season is proof all over again. I’ve never been comfortable with comfortable. I seemingly have the dream I should want, especially at only age 23: a job I enjoy making good money, a church family that is more real to me than any I’ve ever experienced, and in the same city as my best friends. What more should a 23 year old desire, besides falling head over heels for a godly man (but I digress………)?

The glorification of my Creator as seen in my life.

And so in those quiet moments, what is the enemy desiring to steer me from? What is the disapproval of my parents keeping me from? What is the fear of poverty beckoning me to desert?

In 7 months, I’m moving to New Orleans, Louisiana.


when is it ‘acceptable’?

So I was going to write a post about how your first summer out of college is when you realize you’re grown up because all your friends go home and… you still go to work. Nothing changes. But then something came up today and prompted this post.

When you graduate from college, or even during college, people move. If not to another city or state, at least away from their college campus. But what are the reasons for these moves? And which are “acceptable” by “them”?

A Job. This is termed the most acceptable reason to pick up your life and move it elsewhere, because it is seen as going forward. I almost moved for this reason to Louisville, but my job fell through the week of my college graduation.

A Spouse/Lover. Unfortunately, in America at least, this is less acceptable than moving for a job. I know if I ever am faced with this opportunity, I will take it.

A Calling. Many may not understand this reason, but personally, this is the most important reason to do anything. But because it can only be perceived by the one doing the moving, it’s hard to convince others of the importance of it. This is how I ended up in Kentucky for college from Florida.

Something new/different (no reason in particular). I have seen acquaintances pick up and change venues, many times to a different state, just for a change. While I completely understand the feeling for this, I believe many times this can be solved by a new hobby, place to volunteer, or circle of friends. I have seen how these decisions are treated, as though the mover is immature and impulsive. It is most definitely considered the least acceptable.

And so I am faced with a choice. I am stuck somewhere between the third and the fourth reasons for a move. I have to ask myself if God is calling me to the city itself, and whether or not I can deal with the fact that many, including my parents, will see it as me just moving for no reason in particular. I graduated from college a year and a half ago, and it could be judged that I am up and going because I am unhinged and immature.

Hear me, I know that Romans 8:1 is true – that there is no condemnation in Christ. But it’s hard. If I leave my comfortable life and move 12 hours away to a place that is unknown to me for seemingly no reason but that God told me to, what happens?

An adventure.

Or a catastrophe.

What if I’m wrong about my calling?

We’ll have to wait and see. That’s what I’ll be praying about diligently from now on. If you feel moved to do so, feel free to join. I would appreciate it.

Categories: Life Tags: , , , , , ,