Home > Life > He knows.

He knows.

I’ve been here in New Orleans for almost 5 full weeks now, and most days I find myself breaking down in tears. In the shower, at my desk while trying to reading my Bible, in my car once arriving back at my apartment from wherever, and especially while trying to worship at church.

Tonight is no different. I had a crying session in the shower after a basketball game, and then calmed myself down enough to eat a bowl of cereal (which is a huge victory these days). And when I was catching up on my blogs, I came across this post from Jon Acuff. I read it when it was originally posted, and it touched me then. But tonight, it was as if God was speaking right to me through Acuff’s words, namely this section:

““I know, my son, I know. I know, my daughter, I know. That thing you wanted is not going to happen. Not the way you’ve always dreamed. I know this hurts. I know this stings. I know you feel like I am distant or not aware of where you are and who hurt you and what you think life was supposed to be like. I know in moments like this you doubt that I can count the hairs on your head or have your best in mind. But please, I am not done. I have barely started to reveal your life to you. I am the God who satisfies your desires with good things. That is me! And when it comes to your hopes and your fears and your dreams, I know, my son, I know.”

I think of this moment as the “soft x.”

I think of the tenderness of Israel with his arms outstretched and crossed. I think of our desires and our dreams and the times they don’t work. And above all, I think of a God who wants to tell you he hears you, he loves, he knows you. He is not disconnected or disinterested in who you are and who you want to be. Today, he says,

“I know, my son, I know.””

It’s all I have to cling to right now. That God knows how I’m feeling every moment. He knows.

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Categories: Life Tags: , , , , ,
  1. February 22, 2011 at 12:03 am

    oh! this struck a chord too!
    “That thing you wanted is not going to happen. Not the way you’ve always dreamed. ”
    That reminds me of something I heard this week about Esther in the Bible– She didn’t obtain her childhood dreams, but she did fulfill her God-given destiny. I mean, even if you are queen, who dreams of a husband who doesn’t call you into his presence, much less into his bedroom for an entire month? not me. But save your people from genocide… that’s a pretty spectacular destiny… on a personal note, i sure hope God blessed her relationship with her husband after that… and, wow, if you haven’t watched the movie One Night with the King, I highly recommend it… probably won’t help with the crying, Lord knows I cry all the way through it…
    …spiritual hugs from a stranger from far away

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