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unemployed thoughts.

tomorrow marks 6 weeks I have been here in New Orleans. So much has happened, mostly inside of my head, but one thing has not: a job. I would estimate I’ve filled out close to 50 applications by now, and it’s been a difficult and frustrating road. there is so much that is done online these days that any advantage I would gain in a person to person meeting is never given a chance to develop. that’s the frustrating part. the difficult part is that I never know when I am rejected from a job (except Dick’s Sporting Goods, they rejected me within 12 hours…) and so I don’t know whether to wait, or keep looking, getting ever more desperate. for example, this past week I had my first interview at a hotel downtown. during the interview, I realized how much I would hate this job, and how the money may not even be enough to sustain me here. the interviewer even implied I was overqualified for the job. it was quite an odd tactic. nevertheless, if they offer it to me (I should know by mid-week), should I take it? cause it’s not looking promising anywhere else.

and now high school basketball season is over. so my supplemental income, which was my only income, is now gone. the funny thing is, I’m not worried about the money, about affording rent, etc. I need a purpose, something to do, a reason to get out of bed. because for the past 6 weeks, there have been few days with such things. and it’s spun my world on its head. fears I never knew existed have come to light.

and so I pray.

tonight, while I was praying (while I was watching tv on the Internet, believe it or not) to fend off the demons of fear and anxiety, God gave me a word. preserve. even if I never fall in love, never find a career I love, never have a family, lose my loved ones, you know what? He will preserve me. I pray I do fall in love, have a family, and get to do life with those I love back in Kentucky, but this word He gave me is true either way. He will preserve me. thank God.

He will preserve me.

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Categories: Life Tags: , , ,
  1. Kevin Eby
    February 13, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    Preserve is a good word to meditate on. I am glad that God gave it to you. Lots of thoughts filling my head about that word now, but until you brought it to my attention, it was neglected.

    Servant and slave have been words for me this week. I could transition to pre-serve… He will preserve. He did preserve, He preserves.

  2. February 21, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    your words remind me of something that stuck with me at bible study last week… something about faith and fear… about real faith not merely being faith that God won’t let our fears happen to us, but faith that even if what we fear happens, that He will sustain us…
    thanks for sharing and for living by faith. as you well know, He will sustain you.

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