Home > Living with Loving Intensely > where to start?

where to start?

I can’t get over this feeling that God is punishing me. That I was created to love others well, but never be loved, or capable of receiving it, even from Him. How can I have such faith in God’s promises for other people but not believe they are for me? I was created with this sickness and it makes me feel like lesser of a person. Less of a woman, less of a saint. Why do I get so angry that this is the hand I’ve been dealt? I see those I live falling in love, getting married, having kids, careers and even serving Him in great ways – in schools, hospitals, and even overseas. And I take pills to function, try not to starve from being broke, and long for a boy that obviously didn’t want a future with me. My brain knows all the Sunday School answers, and my heart yearns for it to be true because the alternative is just plain impossible to take.

  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: