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Posts Tagged ‘grace’

Forgiven.

Some days I listen to Air1 at work, and today I heard this song by Sanctus Real for the first time. I’ve heard it twice today actually. And it was like God wrote this song for me to sing. This is where I am right now. It’s fairly new, and I wanted to share it with whoever stumbles across this. It’s called “Forgiven”:

Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I am reminded of the wrong that I have said and done
And that devil just won’t let me forget

In this life I know what I’ve been
But here in Your arms I know what I am
I’m forgiven I’m forgiven
I don’t have to carry the weight of who
I’ve been ’cause I’m forgiven

And my mistakes are running through my mind
And I relive my days in the middle of the night
And I struggle with my pain
And wrestle with my pride

Sometimes I feel alone and I cry
When I don’t fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘Cause ….

In this life I know what I’ve been
But here in Your arms I know what I am
I’m forgiven I’m forgiven
I don’t have to carry the weight of who
I’ve been ’cause I’m forgiven

Praise my Jesus for never letting me go, ’cause I sure as heck have deserved it time and again by earthly standards.

Motions

February 16, 2009 1 comment

This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all-consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
“What if I had given everything?”
Instead of going through the motions

No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna spend one more day
Without Your all-consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything?”
Instead of going through the motions

Take me all the way
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

I don’t wanna go through the motions anymore.

“Motions” by Matthew West
Categories: Life Tags: , , , ,

A night of realizations.

September 3, 2008 Leave a comment

I’m laying on the couch alone with multiple people angry with me and my recent actions. And though if those people were to read this, they would not believe me when I say I’m done with all that. For real this time. I’ve never actually said it, but this time I am. But I’m going to have to prove it with my actions now. And that’s ok. My friends love me enough to give me tough love, too. I’m blessed like that. As much as I just want everything to be okay right now, I know this is going to take time, and I did that to myself.

There was a time when this would happen and I would see no light at the end of the tunnel. I’d be so wrapped up in my actions that I wouldn’t see the bigger picture. And this causes me to realize how far I’ve come. I also realize, though, that I cannot trust myself with some things. It’s not the people, it’s not the stress, it’s all me.

I’ve come to a turning point in my life. This summer prepared me for this, I know that now. If camp had no other point for me, it was so when I got to this day, I knew I could do it. Not to say I’m not scared, well downright terrified actually, but I know in the end, I’ll be ok. Not just fine, but perfectly ok.

I am scared I’m not ready. But I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to leave some things. The good thing is I’ve got those things so close to my heart, they don’t have any choice but to come with me, even if its not physically.

God has shown me something tonight I haven’t ever fully tried to fathom: grace. And while I don’t claim to have a grasp on such a concept, I have willingly accepted it for the first time in my life. God has protected me while I was in the middle of my irresponsibility, and I’m done having to be in the position to realize that. I only hope the most important people realize I’m telling the truth and I’m sorry.

Categories: Life Tags: , , , , ,