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Posts Tagged ‘New Orleans’

unemployed thoughts.

February 12, 2011 2 comments

tomorrow marks 6 weeks I have been here in New Orleans. So much has happened, mostly inside of my head, but one thing has not: a job. I would estimate I’ve filled out close to 50 applications by now, and it’s been a difficult and frustrating road. there is so much that is done online these days that any advantage I would gain in a person to person meeting is never given a chance to develop. that’s the frustrating part. the difficult part is that I never know when I am rejected from a job (except Dick’s Sporting Goods, they rejected me within 12 hours…) and so I don’t know whether to wait, or keep looking, getting ever more desperate. for example, this past week I had my first interview at a hotel downtown. during the interview, I realized how much I would hate this job, and how the money may not even be enough to sustain me here. the interviewer even implied I was overqualified for the job. it was quite an odd tactic. nevertheless, if they offer it to me (I should know by mid-week), should I take it? cause it’s not looking promising anywhere else.

and now high school basketball season is over. so my supplemental income, which was my only income, is now gone. the funny thing is, I’m not worried about the money, about affording rent, etc. I need a purpose, something to do, a reason to get out of bed. because for the past 6 weeks, there have been few days with such things. and it’s spun my world on its head. fears I never knew existed have come to light.

and so I pray.

tonight, while I was praying (while I was watching tv on the Internet, believe it or not) to fend off the demons of fear and anxiety, God gave me a word. preserve. even if I never fall in love, never find a career I love, never have a family, lose my loved ones, you know what? He will preserve me. I pray I do fall in love, have a family, and get to do life with those I love back in Kentucky, but this word He gave me is true either way. He will preserve me. thank God.

He will preserve me.

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Categories: Life Tags: , , ,

chill.

in the few weeks I’ve been living here in New Orleans (nola), I have often felt stressed at the lack of urgency of things. this doesn’t surprise you if you know me, as I used to be very OCD about thing being done on time and by the book. in the last few years I’ve become immensely better with this, mostly because of my church, Tatesbrook.

but if there’s one thing the state of Kentucky is OCD about, it’s their basketball. when I started officiating, I quickly realized how precise and ordered things are, and somewhere deep down, I tremendously appreciated it. now that I’m officiating in nola, the chill nature of the culture here permeates into their sport. it’s most definitely not a basketball area, but it’s pretty strange to go from showing up to a game 30 min early (60 for a varsity game) in dress clothes & on the court with 15 min til game time to showing up in uniform 15 min before game time, many times before both teams arrive.

this example is only a part of the relaxed way of life here. now that Carnival season has begun, & I’m learning & taking part in the traditions leading up to Mardi Gras, I’m sure I’ll only get more examples of this. I’ll keep you posted.

Categories: Life Tags: ,

casting.

January 5, 2011 1 comment

I’ve been settled here in NOLA for a few days now, and today I found myself with absolutely nothing to do and weather not conducive to exploring the city. After what felt like a productive day yesterday, today I feel very purposeless. And once that attitude takes hold, it really is hard to get rid of it.

I find myself worrying. Mostly about things I have no control over. I need to quit that. I read an article today about casting your fears on the Lord, and while I recommend reading the whole article, here is what stuck out to me:

“I love the word image I get from the idea of casting, but I often misinterpret it. I think of casting my fears on God like a deep-sea fisherman… You baited your hook, cast as far as you could and then waited…

That’s how I’ve looked at casting my anxiety on the Lord. I do it once a day at best. It’s something I do in my quiet time in the morning and then maybe at night if something is really bothering me. It’s a singular event, like throwing out a deep sea fishing line.

But in the last few days, I’ve started to feel like I might be wrong about that. What if casting your anxiety is more like fly-fishing. Have you ever seen a fly fisherman? It’s a surprisingly active form of fishing. You have to keep your fly, or lure, in almost constant motion, tapping the water repeatedly in an attempt to attract a fish…

And into that space, into my panic and tangle of worry, I am told to cast all my anxiety on God. Not like a deep-sea fisherman, throwing out one line and waiting. But more like a fly fisherman, constantly sending out line. Constantly giving up my fears and worries to the Lord. Not as a single act, but as a lifestyle of surrender. As a constant release to the Lord.”

To put it plainly, God is breaking me. And it sucks. It hurts badly. And while I know it is bringing Him glory and will make me more like Him in the end, it’s still difficult to want it when it feels like this. I don’t know how long I’m going to be in New Orleans, and I need to stop worrying about it. I need to cast it to Him.

Categories: Life Tags: , , , ,

eve of more than a new year.

December 30, 2010 Leave a comment

Well, all my stuff is moved out of Lexington, and bright and early on January 1st, I will be driving to New Orleans. The past few weeks have been what can only be called an emotional roller coaster, as I battle times where fear overtakes me & anxiety cripples me, and times where I am okay with the new adventure I’m about to embark on. I try to remember the restlessness I’ve felt in Lexington, and the affirmation the Lord has given me that moving to NOLA is being obedient. I try not to dwell on the doubt Satan has been feeding me, as well as the lies of infinite “what if” situations, and my tendency to think too far down the road.

I do believe God will take care of me. I wholeheartedly have faith in that. Where I’m still coming around is that I think I know how I want Him to take care of me. I mostly don’t want Him to take care of me by replacing my current friends with new ones.

If you’re the praying kind and would like some specifics…
• Pray the anxiety problems I’m having will ease (problems eating & sleeping, etc.)
• Pray that I will stay present. And as Joe Joe says to me, “Live where I’m at.”
• Pray that no matter what, I will go to God for strength, comfort, and peace.

Categories: Life Tags: , , ,

soap opera life.

September 9, 2010 Leave a comment

This may be the dumbest blog post I’ve ever written.

I’ve recently started watching One Tree Hill (yeah, yeah, I know, I’m 8 years behind, that’s SO high school) and I have absolutely fallen in love with it (insert adequate props to Erin here). I just finished watching season 4, where everyone graduates high school. Then in the beginning of season 5, the show made a bold (and applauded) move and fast forwarded four years. Some had succeeded, some had not, but they all tried.

So what’s the point I’m making? Well, I feel like I’m about to be at the end of season 4 of OTH. And if what I claim about my beliefs in my God are true, than I know that my story is going to be worth telling. But for all the drama and sappy dialogue OTH has, it was true in it’s portrayal of having to try. I’ve got to trust God is going to take care of me. The only thing that’s going to hold me back is myself and my fear.

affirmations.

06.20 (608, Jon Weece) He is calling us to leave our nets behind. Nets of our comfortable vocation to where He’s calling us, where He will provide.
Obedience to Jesus Christ is the number one thing for a disciple. Peter wasn’t influential, but obedient. Jesus doesn’t want people with influence to increase their faithfulness, but people who are faithful to increase their influence.

7.1 (Romans small group study) God has equipped me with everything I need for ministry. I pray for increase in wisdom and increase in faith only. I have everything else already. I am completely equipped!

7.4 (Mike Brady) We are called to be responders, not initiators. Faith is responding to Gods promises.

7.13 (My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers) “Over and over again God has to remove our friends in order to bring Himself in their place, and that is where we faint and fail and get discouraged.” “It must be God first, God second, and God third, until life is faced steadily with God and no one else is of any account whatever.”

8.22 (608, Jon Weece) Acts 17:26, …God has determined the exact place for me to live.
Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.

God has given me a vision that doesn’t fit my circumstances.
I can’t speak for myself.
I can’t make plans for myself.
I only exist as an end to the glory of God.

Categories: Life, Ministry Tags: , , , ,

no question.

Sometimes in the quiet of my room at night, questions begin to creep into my mind. It’s only in these silent moments after my roommates have gone to bed and I’m looking out my bedroom window watching the twinkling lights of South Lexington that I doubt my calling. It’s amazing how these tiny instants can rule in our lives.

They aren’t that often, truthfully. And they aren’t that significant. But it’s in these little whiles that my focus slips. It’s not that easy, you know, tuning this unredeemed brain of mine to a channel that is set on heavenly things. How can I concede these grains of doubt infiltrate the abundance of confirmation I have received?

It says, ask and you shall receive. And even though I never received that colored Game Boy with Tetris, or that drum set, I have received confirmation of my call. I asked for validation, for affirmation. And it came in many forms: a conversation with my pastor, Unearthed Pictures coming to 608 & me being able to start a conversation with them, even the words of the songs I’ve been writing.

The opulence and complacency I am experiencing in this season is proof all over again. I’ve never been comfortable with comfortable. I seemingly have the dream I should want, especially at only age 23: a job I enjoy making good money, a church family that is more real to me than any I’ve ever experienced, and in the same city as my best friends. What more should a 23 year old desire, besides falling head over heels for a godly man (but I digress………)?

The glorification of my Creator as seen in my life.

And so in those quiet moments, what is the enemy desiring to steer me from? What is the disapproval of my parents keeping me from? What is the fear of poverty beckoning me to desert?

In 7 months, I’m moving to New Orleans, Louisiana.