Posts Tagged ‘Romans’

Identity but no Purpose?

September 2, 2009 Leave a comment

I was listening to an interview with Donald Miller the other day, and he said something to the effect of this, “I believe that our self-identity comes from a source outside of us. God tells us who we are.” At first, I was like, wait what? But the more I got to thinking about it, the more I found truth in it, especially when it comes to us finding our identity in things that are not Christ, as I have a horrible history of doing.

This morning while I was praying, I was talking to God about this, and even when I find my identity in Him, what is it? That I’m a child of God? Okay. And maybe this next bit is going to prove my immaturity in this matter, but then what? I know I am a child of God, I am His, but that fact doesn’t give me any purpose in my life. That’s what I’m missing. I’ve been finding purpose through friendships, and yet again, God is taking them away from me painfully in order to show me that’s wrong. I know I can’t find purpose in what I do, I mean, I’m not exactly making a difference in the world with what I do at work. So that leaves me where…. ?

Worrying. If I’m being honest. Which is a sin. Yeah, worrying is a sin. Especially when the things I’m worrying about, like the growing apart of friendships, are out of my control. I know God is Sovereign, and I need to act more like it. How, I do not know. What I do know is that in Romans 12:12 it says to “rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.” If I’m being honest again, I suck at the first two.

So I’m going to keep thinking about what Donald Miller said, and I’m going to keep praying. But I’m especially going to keep rejoicing and being patient. And maybe somewhere, someday, I’ll wake up in this post-college life I’m leading and have purpose.

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…groans that words cannot express.

I’ve been in a sort of a funk for the past few days. I let a little bit of bitterness mixed with a dash of loneliness ruin a night and perpetuate through an entire weekend. These feelings left me sitting in church this morning wishing I was still in bed or at least feeling like being in the presence of the Lord. I was yearning for the Lord’s companionship, but…

then I got a text message.

It was a simple request for prayer, but in that moment, the Lord showed me why i was sitting in a pew instead of still laying in bed. It was because I was in a place where I felt comfortable enough to get on my knees for my friend. Never had I felt so burdened, significant and insignificant in the same moment. It was amazing and bittersweet.

In James it says, “…pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” Now, I by no means consider myself righteous, but I still felt if I asked for wisdom on how to pray for my friend, the Holy Spirit would intercede for me for my friend.

Guess what the sermon was on.

Yep, the title of the sermon was “Pray Believing.” Never put God in a box!

In light of this sounding “preachy,” I still had no idea how to pray for my friend. I just dropped to my knees and asked the Lord to rain His presence down on my friend and to bring peace and comfort. It was all I could do but to just repeat: “Peace and comfort, peace and comfort.” And then tonight I found this verse:

Romans 8:26
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

“…groans that words cannot express.” I know English wasn’t the original language, but what a description. I was comforted in this moment and again I drop to my knees to intercede on behalf of my friend so that the Spirit wil intercede for me.

My happiness is found in less of me and more of You…

Categories: Life Tags: , , , ,